


Oh, and what type do I strike you as?

by BitsyDahlia



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Hale Fire, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, Pre-Slash, Stranger to Friends, Strangers to Lovers, Teasing, Texting, Wrong number
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-04-19 18:44:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4756976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitsyDahlia/pseuds/BitsyDahlia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles just wanted to be a good friend.<br/>He just wanted to text Scott about his and Allison's situation, because he saw them fighting and then he saw Scott moping and Stiles wanted to be helpful. Normal, ordinary bestfriend duty.<br/>But, guess what?<br/>Nothing goes the way Stiles wants.</p><p> </p><p>(Or, the one where Stiles has a new phone, texts the wrong number and starts talking - and flirting- with a guy called Derek.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New phone made me do it

**Author's Note:**

> Hiii, everyone.  
> This story was born yesterday night when it was too hot to sleep but I was too tired to write.  
> I think there are going to be 3 chapters but I'm not really sure since it's a wip.  
> I'm quite sure my grammar here sucks, so sorry guys if sometimes it gets ureadable. Just tell me and I'm going to try and fix it.  
> Hope you enjoy! :)

When Stiles made it home that night, tired after an entire evening spent running up and down the police station doing the bellboy because half of the police officers were sick and they were short of stuff (epidemic flu, those lucky bastards), his first thought went to Scott. Stiles had seen him when he was on his way to the police station with his dad, the Sheriff: Scott was walking outside the local bakery with a plastic bag in one hand and his inhaler in the other and the saddest puppy face Stiles had ever seen on a human being, and he knew that something with Allison had went terribly wrong.  
  
So, being the awesome best friend he was, when he got home Stiles collected his phone from his bag instead of collapsing on the couch and searched for Scott' contact only to remember he had lost it along with most of his other contacts when he changed his phone last week (and Stiles couldn't even think of a person desperate enough to steal his eight years old Nokia phone, really, he could only pity them).  
  
So, since Stiles hadn't bothered to ask his previous contacts yet (because he didn't need their phone numbers if he can see them at school, right?), he found himself with a shiny new cellphone and no Scott number. Stiles went in his room and searched among old diaries, pieces of paper and post-it but found nothing. Then he tried to remember it (it has always been the same number since Scott got his first phone in sixth grade and Stiles used to have it actually memorized in his mind, it couldn't be so difficult, now, could be?) and when he came up with what he thought was the right one he went for it without esitation.  
Scott already had Stiles new number, nothing could possibly go wrong.  
  
**man, you alright? what happened with Allison?**

Stiles sent the text and threw himself on his bed, still fully dressed, waiting for the (not so much) familiar buzz from his phone. The answer to his text came within a couple of minutes.  
**  
Who is Allison?**  
  
There he was.  
**  
c'mon dude, i get that you don't wanna talk about it but i deserve to know!!**  
  
Stiles has been involved in Scott and Allison's relatioship and multiple break ups far more than he was comfortable admitting, going from being a confidant to  
being a punching bag and back several times. He deserved an explanation.  
**  
Don't call me dude.**  
  
Okay, that was new. Stiles took his shirt off and kicked his jeans then replied.  
**  
scott, wtf?!** Stiles sent back to Scott, ready to throw his friend back the shit he was trying to feed him. He knew Scott way to well.  
**  
Who the hell is Scott?**  
  
Stiles was already tired of Scott's shit (and that was definitely some record time for him).  
**  
omg man are you going Bucky Barnes on me?!**  
  
Two texts came one after the other in a matter of seconds.  
**  
Bucky didn't remember who he was**  
**I am quite sure I'm not this Scott guy.**  
  
Things were getting weider in a way that Stiles was not expecting, there was something wrong going on.  
  
**what??**  
**why you have his phone?? did you stole his phone??!!**  
  
**I don't have that guy's phone and I didn't stole his phone.**  
  
Well, duh.  
  
**how do I know that, uhm??**  
  
**Wouldn't be smart to text back one of the contact on the phone I stole.**  
  
Damn, the stranger was right. Stiles rolled his eyes in annoyance.  
  
**fair enough**  
**so, lemme see, you are not Scott**  
**and you didn't steal his phone are you Allison? or Lydia?  
JACKASS IS THAT YOU U PIECE OF SHIT???**  
  
Stiles had to (angrily) wait for almost a full minute (that he used to _angrily_ take off his socks) and then the phone buzzed in his hand.  
  
**I don't know who those people are.**  
  
**well sorry if i don't believe you**  
  
**What do you want from me?  
  
** Ok, Stiles had had enough of that crap.  
  
**stop freakin jokin!!**  
**however you are, next time there ain't gonna be any pancakes waitin for you idiot!!**  
**now go get Scott so we can have some serious talk**  
  
**I'm going to tell you this nicely only once, if you don't get the message I'm going to block you: I got a text from an unknown number and I sent one back to know if it was from someone I knew and/or didn't listed in my cellphone, I don't know who you are talking about and I have NO idea who you are.**  
  
The stranger was denying everything in a way that left little doubt about his ignorance of the facts, Stiles was sure that not even Jackson ("Jackass") could be _that_ cruel knowing the situation.   
So, ok, that was awkward.  
Stiles stared a solid five minutes at the screen of his phone, unsure about what to do, but then he made the mother of all the bad decisions: let his curiosity do the talk.  
  
**sooo, since i'm kind of sure i don't give my number to unfriendly strangers no matter my emotional state**  
**who are you and how you got my number?**  
  
The stranger's replies were almost instantaneous.  
  
**I could ask you the same questions**  
**you're the one who contacted me.**  
  
**okay, but you answered my text**  
  
**How the hell I'm supposed to know how YOU found MY number?**  
**I was being polite.**  
  
Stiles snorted.  
  
**man, you don't exactly strike me as the polite type**  
  
**You're avoiding the questions.**  
  
**YOU are the one avoiding smnt here**  
  
**YOU are the one who came up with my number and sent me a text.**  
  
One thing was sure: the stranger and Stiles were both diehard stubborn. But Stiles had had an hell of a day and was too tired to keep on playing this game.  
  
**and YOU are being annoying**  
  
**Am I writing to a fucking 10 years old?**  
  
**ohhh stfu i'm 18**  
  
**Close enough**  
**Answer the questions**.  
  
Stiles let out a frustrated noise that made him sound a lot like a whining kid, but since his dad was still at the police station and Scott was M.I.A. no one was there to judge him.  
  
**gee i don't even know you and i already want to strangle you**  
  
**Not the first one telling me this.**  
  
Unsurprisely enough, Stiles could imagine that quite easily. Yawning, he ran a hand through his hair.  
  
**god you're so frustrating**  
  
**Answer.**  
  
Stiles almost flew his phone across the room against the wall.  
  
**oh my goood okay**  
**i'm Stiles**  
  
**Is it even a real name?**  
  
**it's a nickname, you dumbass**  
**my real one is a polish mess i got from my granpa that no one can speak or read**

**But you are American.**

**no shit Sherlock**

**As for the second question?**  
  
The boy was starting to get nervous.  
  
**are you serious? is this an interrogation? do i need to call a lawyer?**  
  
**Stiles.**  
  
**what**  
  
**Answer.**  
  
**uuuugh you're unbelievable**  
**i wanted to write to Scott to know how things where going with Allison 'cause last time i saw them in front of the school yesterday they were fighting but i knew better than to go there and put me between those two you know and then today i saw Scott and he was moping like full puppy-dog-kicked-in-the-guts moping but i was busy with my father so i could't stop for some bro time so i decide to contact Scott but then i remember i changed my phone last week so i lost most of my contacts including Scott' but i'm like, c'mon, he has the same number he used in middle school, how difficult it could be to remember??**  
**turns out, not as simple as i thought**  
  
Stiles realised how many information had slipped from him in only one message just after he sent it and automatically slapped himself for being so naive: he was talking to a complete stranger, dammit! He also realized that maybe (just maybe) he was the one on the other side of the reason in this argument. Ugh.  
  
**So?**  
  
**so what?**  
  
**Got something to tell me?**  
  
Oh boy, that guy (no way in hell the stranger was a girl because, just, _no_ ) was his nemesis. Stiles knew what he wanted: he wanted a fucking apology.  
  
**you're going to make me say it, aren't you**  
  
**I don't know what you are talking about.**  
  
**yes you know it you bastard**  
**ok, i'm sorry i accused you of being a thief**  
**and suggested you could be one of my jerk friends who wanted to put a joke on me**  
**so i'm sorry**  
**even if i think you ARE a jock**  
  
**That's not really an apology.**  
  
Stiles knew it, thank you very much. But now he was going back on playing the same game of the guy, cause the stranger was getting way too bolder for Stiles' likes. The boy set down crosslegged on his bed and started typing.  
  
**that's all you'll have from me till you tell me who are you  
you could be a serial killer or a perv granny for what i know  
**  
Stiles had to wait for at least two minutes to get a single word as reply.  
  
**Really?**  
  
**yeah really, introduce yourself to the class**  
**you waiting for a written invitation?**  
  
**And I'm the frustrating one**  
  
**excuse you?**  
  
**I'm Derek.**  
  
**ohhhh, not so nice to meet you Derek  
welcome to the civilized world **  
  
**Says the guy who shots before asking.**  
  
**it was self-defense**  
  
**Keep telling that to yourself.**  
  
Stiles snorted so hard he almost knocked himself on the floor.  
  
**are you some kind of middle age man who spend his time complaining about 'nowadays youth'?**  
**'coz you totally sound like one of them**  
  
**No, I'm not but I guess not everyone can sound like a brat (like you do).**  
  
The boy frowned at the blue-ish screen.  
  
**i don't sound like a brat, i'm just naturally nosy and bitterly sarcastic**  
  
**So, basically, a brat.**  
  
**oh gosh i hate you so much**  
  
**Truth hurts, uhm?**  
  
**you're a lost cause**  
**how old are you, anyway?**  
  
**Old enough to tell you it's your bed time.**  
  
The boy looked at hour on the right corner of his phone:10:14 p.m. .Things were getting exciting, and Stiles smirked at the thought. 

 **so, 50?**  
  
**Not that old.**  
  
Mh, good to know, Stiles idly thought.  
  
**are you going to tell me or you're going to let me try and guess?**  
**i can go on all night long**  
  
**God forbits**  
**I'm 24.**  
  
Stiles was strangely satisfied with the news but decided to ignore the weird feeling to keep on poking this Derek guy, which so far was being equally satisfying, much to Stiles surprise (when the boy realised it).  
  
**dude was that so difficult? you made me sweat for it!**  
  
**Don't call me dude.**  
  
**oookay Derek don't-call-me-dude**  
  
**I'm hanging up on you.**  
  
**we're texting you can't really hang up on me**  
  
**Touché**  
**I'm still going to turn off the phone tho**  
  
_That_ kind of hurt Stiles, and geez, why was he even even feeling hurt, there was nothing to feel hurt about, Stiles has annoyed the hell out of a guy he just virtually met and Derek got tired of their little game ( and was Derek even aware of said game or it was only on Stiles' end?).  
Before Stiles could go down on a full guilt trip, his phone buzzed again.  
  
**I've got to get up early tomorrow**  
  
Stiles stared for a moment at his phone that hurried up to reply without loosing a bit, smiling at himself.  
  
**deep down i already knew you could only be a morning person**  
  
**That may be the first right thing you guessed about me**  
**Second right thing, counting the "Derek you're an asshole" vibe I could feel in your texts.**    
  
The smile on Stiles' face died in a heart bit. Did he inadvertently hurt Derek? Did Derek thought Stiles hated or made fun of him? More importantly, why was Stiles so worried about all of these things above?  
  
**sorry man, i didnt mean to offend you**  
  
**Don't worry Stiles, I know I can be kind of an asshole sometimes.**  
  
Stiles grinned at the phone and decided he was in the mood for emojis.  
  
**nahh man, you're not so bad after** **all  
you know, if you go past the general mockin tone ;)**  
  
Derek's next texts took a couple of minutes to come and Stiles was totally calm. Yeah, completely, utterly calm.   
  
**I'm sorry to interrupt our talk**  
**It's getting late for me**  
  
And there it goes Stiles' calm and hope for whatever it was the thing that was going on between the two of them. Stiles wasn't too prone on putting a label on it, not yet at least.  
  
**But, to be honest, it was kind of endearing.**  
  
The boy waited for Derek to add something but when he got a series of nothing from the other guy's end he left the rush of adrenaline take over and wrote and sent a text too fast so he could't think about giving up and let it go. Fuck it, Stiles thought, it could be _something_.  
  
**yeah it was kind of fun, wanna do it again sometimes?**  
  
When Stiles _truly_ read the text for the first time, it was wrong in every possible way: blunt, awkward and obvious, like the stupid teenager he was. Fan- fucking- tastic. Again, Derek's text put Stiles out of his misery.  
  
**I'd like that. Tomorrow night I've got a work meeting, but we can talk on Tuesday night if it's okay with you.**  
  
For a moment, the boy stared at the phone, stunned; then his rational part kicked in and briefly thought about what Derek could possibly earn from their virtual textposts relationship, but then again, Stiles was the one who officially asked the question so he had no room to talk. He waited for a couple of minutes so he didn't sound too eager _\- what?!-_  before firing back his answer.

 **tuesday night sounds good**  
**talk to you then**  
**good night!**  
  
**Bye, Stiles.**  
**Good night.  
**

And with that, Stiles slipped between the covers of his bed and fell asleep despite the rush of adrenaline still going strong in his body, mind light and Scott's drama temporarily forgotten. 


	2. Curiosity made me do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii guys! And to the ones who celebrate it in this days, happy new year!  
> This chapter has been a pain from the beginning till the end, I was afraid cause I didn't know what those two were going to do ( it's gone so far that they are doing whatever they want and I'm only here to write that shit).  
> So, if you've got suggestion or critics or something to say please leave a comment!  
> Hope you enjoy it :)

The morning after the 'incident', Stiles woke up, made breakfast for his dad (he had peered in John's room and saw him fast asleep; he probably came back home in the middle of the night) and himself, starting to get ready for another day of school.  
  
While he was brushing his teeth, absently looking at himself in the mirror, Stiles realized that the day before he got so carried away with Derek that he completely forgot to try and contact Scott (again). He looked at his reflection, horrified, and dropped the toothbrush, nearly getting toothpaste and saliva all over his shirt.

"Fuck!", Stiles swore loudly. He hoped he could get a chance to talk to Scott at school that day or at least to sneak him a couple of notes and ask him about the situation (and his phone number too).  
  
But then his mind decided to focus on the "got carried away with Derek" part of his internal speech and Stiles almost choked himself with said toothpaste. He had been so busy texting with this frustrating Derek stranger (and thinking about it, was it even his real name?) that he had completely remove his life long best friend's love disasters from his mind in favour of spending an hour bickering with a complete stranger he virtually met the very same night.  
  
So, maybe Stiles wasn't such an amazing best friend as he thought.   
  
Once he'd arrived at school that morning, Stiles had gotten off his Jeep and started searching for Scott, hoping he could get to him before the bell rang. They shared the first period and Professor Harris was even worse in the early morning.

After scanning the parking lot finding no Scott there, Stiles went for the lockers and finally spotted his friend. Who was currently having the time of his life kissing the hell out of Allison (and vice versa) and apparently learning how to breath throught his ears, since neither of them seemed likely to let the hold they had on each other in the near future. It had to mean something if no one in the hallway looked twice at them.  
  
It looked like the crisis was averted.  
  
Stiles rolled his eyes so hard it actually hurt. He should have seen that coming, there was a pattern in those two idiot lovebirds' lovestory: they fought at least twice a month but were so sickening in love they were back together in a matter of days, all heart eye and saccarine pet names. It was almost disgusting.   
  
Stiles strolled his way to the couple, feeling merciful and commenting only with a 'get a room you two' loud enough so that only Scott and Allison could hear it and then brushed past them to his locker.  
  
It was only after both Stiles and Scott had been sitting down in the chemistry lab for about half their first period that Scott, out of the blue, turned toward his friend and aknowledged him with a whispered "Dude" as salute, heart eye and dreamy voice still on.  
  
"Ahh, man," Stiles sighed, shaking his head.  
  
"Just to make it clear, you and Allison? Fully back on the honeymoon mood?" Stiles asked, matter-of-fact, in a low voice.  
  
Scott answered him with a wide crocked grin, "Yeah."  
  
Stiles nodded and patted Scott's shoulder. "Man, I got the hint when you were eating each other faces in the hall but, I mean, that's awesome."  
  
Scott' grin got impossibly wider.  
  
"You know," Stiles added," I saw you two fighting last saturday then I saw you yesterday and you looked so miserable," at that, Scott made a grim face but Stiles had a speech to make so he ignored him, "and I wanted to call you and give you a shoulder to cry on, but my PC is still at the computer center and it was late night when I came back home from the police statio-"  
  
"Stilinski, McCall," called Professor Harris pointedly, "are we bothering you with our AP Chemistry lesson? Would you like us to leave you two on your own or your conversation can wait till the next period?"  
  
While Scott apologized politely, Stiles bit his lip to stop himself from dropping one of his caustic replies on the teacher. Although he had improved the conscious control on his brain-to-mouth filter, sometimes it was still hard not to let a wry retort slip when it came to Harris.

The boys kept it quite for the rest of the period, the only form of comunication provided by Stiles' post-it that finally got him Scott's _right_ number to put on his new phone and earned Stiles a questioning look from his friend.  
  
When the bell rang and they got out of the chemistry lab, Stiles resumed the conversation from where they had been interrupted.   
  
"So, basically, when I came home I wanted to text you but then I remembered I didn't have your number-"  
  
"Stiles, it's been the same since forever -wait, is it because of the ADHD?"  
  
Stiles turned sharply toward his friend, who was looking at him with big, guilty eyes. Everyone say goodbye to Scott buzzing-with-happiness McCall and say hello to Scott concerned-puppy McCall.  
  
"Nah, that's not it," Stiles bumped their shoulders together, "it's just that now I'm used to having it stored on my phone and I guess I just forgot it, you know, like normal people do."  
  
Scott was about to say something but Stiles grabbed his forearm and kept on walking.

"But dude, we're not talking about me now. Are _you_ alright? Is everything alright with Allison? Like, totally fine and whatever happen is now gone and forgotten? Nothing I should know?"  
  
Then, before Scott could answer him, a doubt popped in Stiles' mind. "Wait, there _is_ something I should know: I couldn't contact you but you could have text me, you already had my new number! Yeah, maybe Saturday was a bit early, but on Sunday, man. What were you doin-"  
  
Then Stiles turned to face his friend and saw the bright pink blush on the dopey face he was making.  
  
"Oh" Stiles whispered, and Scott's face turned a shade of red.  
  
"OH!" Stiles exclaimed, realization taking over. "You two had make up sex."  
  
Scott silently pleading him with his eyes to stop talking did nothing but confirm what Stiles was thinking.  
  
"You had make up sex _all Sunday long,"_ Stiles added and Scott buried his head in his hands.  
  
"Dude, I'm not gonna hold against you the fact that you got laid instead of texting me," Stiles side hugged Scott while the boy shook his hands from his face, "but I gotta ask you _how_ because, _Argent family_ , just, don't add too much details of the, uh, actual thing, mh? I'm happy for you and all but I'd rather go without any more details about your and Allison's sexual habits, it's just - don't, ok?"  
  
Scott smiled happily, all red cheeks and shining eyes, "Thanks, bro."

~~~

Stiles managed to forget about Derek for the rest of the day.

~~~  
  
"Mom and dad are back together," stated Malia, sitting down between Kira and Stiles on their usual bench in the canteen while looking unimpressed at Allison and Scott kissing on the other bench across their table. Stiles made room for her sliding closer to Lydia.  
  
"Duh," said Jackson, who was unfortunatly sitting next to Allison, as he exagereted his slidind in Danny's space, plastering himself on the other guy.  
  
It was Tuesday; so like every other scholastic Tuesday that required every single one of them to stay the afternoon at school (each one for a different reason), after their morning periods, they all gathered to have lunch togheter.

They were a strange, heterogeneous group of people whom had nothing to do with each other apart from being popular (most of them, at least).

Nevertheless, in spite of a few aftershocks (that one time Jackson and Lydia broke up for good, that multiple times in which Jackson tried hitting on Allison knowing she was with Scott, that one time when Kira tried hitting on Scott without knowing he was still with Allison, that one time Danny and Stiles had drunkenly kissed at a party while Stiles and Malia had their friends with benefits affair still going on and a few other times Stiles coulnd't recollect), they mostly get on just fine and nobody was impressed by Scott and Allison's 'Hot & Cold' relationship anymore.  
  
Jackson rolled his eyes and added "I like them better when they fight," and then they were all making fun of the kissing couple and chatting over idle issues.   
  
Then, Stiles fished his phone out of his pocket.  
  
"Stiles, I didn't know you got a new phone!" Kira exclaimed happily, making grabby hand at him until Stiles twisted himself enough so the girl could take a look at it.  
  
"Yeah, you know, I figured I might as well buy a new one," Stiles said without needing further explanation. All of them already knew about the unfortunate thief.

Kira scrolled through Stiles phone. "You have no numbers in here...Oh, you must've lost them, I should've imagine it, I'm sorry" Kira blurted, looking ready to cry.  
  
"Why didn't you told us?" Lydia asked, frowing at him.  
  
Scott extracted himself from the still-going-on kiss just to proudly add a useful "I was the only one that knew his new number" to the conversation and then went back to his previous occupation. Needless to say, no one was surprised by Scott's revelation.  
  
"What's the matter, you give us your new number, we give you ours and that's it," Malia suggested, shrugging.  
  
Stiles smirked at her. "I knew there was a reason I like you better then the other."  
  
While Allison and Scott kept kissing obvious of (almost) the whole conversation, Danny smiled kindly, Jackson snorted, Kira laughed, Malia smirked back and Lydia rolled her eyes and stole Stiles' phone from his hands.  
  
And then, because his mind hated him more than he thought could be possible, Stiles remembered Derek and almost chocked on his own tongue.  
  
~~~  
  
So, that night Stiles was going to chat with Derek the stranger (Stiles had enlisted his number with that name after his friends finished filling his phone with theirs, no jokes). Stiles had been able to avoid the subject and even forget about it for the best part of the day(s) and now he was so not ready for it.  
  
It was late afternoon when Stiles came back home, a short message telling him his father had to do a double shift at the station to cover for shortage of staff. Blessed with no Papa Stilinski at home, Stiles could stress and eat without nobody to judge him or ask him questions.  
  
Was it normal to feel nervous about it? But then again, Stiles thought there was very little normality in all that situation.   
  
Since he had no homework with which trying to distract himself, Stiles made a sandwich (the unhealthy kind, with twice the recommended dose of ketchup, mayonnaise and mustard), took a bottle of orange juice from the fridge and relocated himself on the coach, sitting crosslegged with his dinner balanced on one leg and the phone on the other. He actually spent half an hour searching online for stories that could match his own but he found no comfort in Catfish at _all_.  
  
Stiles tossed the phone on the coffee table, deciding to ignore it until it was possible. It was still early so he turned the TV on switching channels and settling on binge watching Hannibal.   
  
Stiles was in the middle of the first season, munching absently at his dinner while Hannibal was cooking his own (yeah, Stiles had little moral and close to zero shame), when his mind decided it was time to go on a guilt trip.  
  
Why had he even thought it was a good idea in the first place? Yeah, right, he hadn't actually thought about it before asking Derek. Stiles had said  _fuck it_  and told a stranger he wanted to keep in touch with him (he almost smashed his half eaten sandwinch on his face at the thought).  
  
Derek could be literally anyone, an hacker, a stalker, an junky, a pervert, a murderer (and no, the fact that Derek told him he was neither didn't count). Stiles was raised by a cop, for fuck sake, he should have known better. Luckily for him, he had time enough to figure out if this Derek guy was actually dangerous, so Stiles figured he'd cross that bridge when (and if) he'd come to it. He just needed to handle the situation in the right way.  
  
When he convinced himself about this first topic, another one popped in his mind: it was going to be awkward. The first time it had been Stiles who had composed the wrong number so there was something to talk about, but right now Stiles' mind was blank.  
  
Stiles' mind, blank. Sounded like there was someone up there who was making fun of him.  
  
Was there an etiquette to follow when you were exchanging messages with strangers?

He had no idea how to do this. This was a bad idea on so many levels. He was going to make a fool of himself. 

Stiles felt the irresistible urge to facepalm.  
  
On the other and, it wasn't even sure that Derek the stranger was really going to contact him or answer Stiles' text, Stiles reasoned while finishing his sandwich.  
  
Derek could have said he wanted to keep texting with Stiles just to cut the conversation because he had had enough or to give himself time to block Stiles' number. Maybe he meant to subtly put him down and Stiles hadn't caught the hint or Derek agreed only out of courtesy, even if this last option had Stiles snorting at the association between 'Derek' and 'courtesy' because, from what he had seen, it was like putting chocolate and a steak in the same plate.

They just didn't belong together.  
  
Stiles was so lost in his analytical-ish thoughts that almost missed the buzzing of his phone and fell from the coach and onto the floor in the efford of reaching it. He had stayed in the same position for so long his lower limbs were completely numb and he didn't even realized it.   
  
"Shit," Stiles muttered from his current position, grabbing his phone and looking at the lighted display.  
  
**Hi Stiles.**  
  
They boy read the first text and literally dropped his phone on his face in shock. He retrieved it from the floor near his head only when a second text came.  
  
**It's Derek.**  
  
Stiles blinked at the screen and read the text three times just in case, and shit, ok, Derek wrote him for real. Stiles might have been staring way longer than he thought at his phone because it buzzed again.  
  
**Am I bothering you?**  
  
And now Stiles was panicking.   
  
**shit Derek no**  
**i was just surprised**  
  
In a matter of second Stiles's phone buzzed again.  
  
**By what?**  
  
Now, Stiles could have lied. It wasn't like Derek could see him right now, and tell Stiles was bullshitting him. Stiles had no obligation of telling the truth, but his fingers moved before he could rationally think about it.  
  
**i didn't know if we were going to do this**  
  
**This what?**  
  
**texting**  
  
After a long, awkward, and tense pause that had Stiles wonder _what the hell_ , Derek replied with another question. What a start.  
  
**Would you prefer to stop?**  
**If you changed your mind, just tell me and I'm not going to contact you again. No problem.**  
  
Stiles blinked at the screen in surprise and actually took his time thinking about it. The guy was giving him a way out of this (whatever _this_ was): Derek wasn't trying to lull him into keeping their weird telematical communication, like a creeper would do, so the man wasn't probably as bad as Stiles had speculated, or maybe he was just good at hiding it. However, Stiles was struck by the realization that he actually didn't wanted to stop writing to Derek.  
  
Not for now, at least.  
  
**no**  
**i mean yes i want to keep on talking w/ u**  
**you know, if it's okay with you**  
**just took me by surprise**  
  
**Why?**  
  
Eh, a man of few word who can ask the right question anyway (avoiding to answer Stiles' implied one). _Lucky me_ , the boy thought. But since the guy had been decent enough to give him the opportunity to chicken out of their 'arrangement', Stiles decided to be (mostly) honest with him.  
  
**i thought i had already annoyed the hell out of you**  
**and when you agreed w/ me you were just being diplomatic**  
  
The boy waited a bit, then wrote another two texts.  
  
**diplomatically telling me to fuck off**  
**and i didn't get the hint**  
  
Stiles looked at the message he just wrote and sent to the stranger and suddenly felt exposed.  
  
Those texts were a perfect mix of teenage shyness, young adult self deprecation, and bittersweet humor. He would have been quite proud of the third one if it wasn't for the private connotation the others had, and the fact that Derek was reading them left him with a solid feeling of unease in Stiles' stomach. 

But just like during their first conversation, Derek was the one who made Stiles'd guilt trip end.

**I wasn't.**

Ok, it wasn't exactly the answer Stiles was waiting for. In fact, he thought it couldn't be considered as an answer at all.

**you weren't what?**

**Diplomatically telling you to fuck off.**

Oh.

 _Hello embarassment, my old friend_ , Stiles thought.

 **oh**  
**ok**  
**cool, i guess ??**  
  
**Stiles, if I hadn't wanted to talk to you I would have told you right away.  
Do I strike you as the diplomatic type?**

Stiles briefly thought about it and laughted out loud.

 **not at all**  
**no offence man**

**None taken.  
Do I strike you as someone who would spend time doing something he doens't want to do and could easily avoid doing?**

Stiles took a short breath, nodding to himself as he tiped.

**you really don't  
**

**Does it looks like I'm trying to avoid having a conversation with you? Making excuses or not replying?**

**i guess you're not**

**Plus, I think you can get a 'hint' when you see one. Am I wrong?**

**i'm not so sure on this one but i'm going to say ok**

**Don't underrate yourself too much.  
So, you see my point?**

Again, Stiles took his time to think about it. He read their conversation all over again, to make sure he didn't miss a thing, and then grinned like a mad man.

**mhhh nah i don't think i see it**

**Really.**

Stiles rolled on the floor and adjusted himself on his belly, then typed his answer.  

**well, you know, sometimes you're a bit criptic sooo**

**Stiles.**

**enlight me Derek plsss**

**You're going** **to make me say it, don't you?**  
  
**i don't know what you're talking about**

Derek's answer came after a bit.

****Why this is sounding like a de ja vù to me?** **

The laugh that came out of Stiles was so loud it echoed into the entire house. Of course Stiles knew what Derek's point was (and to be honest, if he hasn't been so engrossed in the conversation, he would have been confused about the rush of relieve he felt in the realization). But he was determinate to make Derek pay for that time he extorted an apology out of Stiles. So, business first.

****coz it is ;^)** **

****God.  
** ** ****Don't tell me is because of our last conversation.** **

****idk man, i think you're trying to change the topic here** **

****This is definetely about that conversation.** **

****you're avoiding your duty, sir****

****You're such a brat.** **

****manners maketh man. do you know what that means?** **

****...  
Is that a 'Kingsman' quote?** **

Stiles wanted to jump on the sofa. Ten fucking points to GriffinDerek.

 ****YES IT IS****  
**AND YOU GOT IT**  
**I CAN'T BELIEVE IT**  
**there's no way in hell you gonna get rid of me**  
  
**I seriously fear for my safety.**

 **> :)))))**  
  
**I can't belive I still want to talk to you.**

Stiles grinned. It wasn't exactly the declaration he was hoping for but it surely was what he could expect from Derek, so Stiles considered himself satisfied.

 **there it is!!**  
**wasn't so difficult, was it?**

**I hate you.**

**the feeling is mutual :)**

Stiles smirked at his phone, then he put it on the coffee table and pull himself up from the cold floor (that was doing nothing good to his digestion) to flop on the sofa. He retrieved his phone at the same time the familiar buzz of a message went on.

**How was your day?**

And just like that, Stiles forgot all his previous internal thoughts and started talking.

 **remember my friend Scott who was in trouble with his gf Allison?**  
**couldn't find his number but turns out they solved the situation on their own and i freaked out for nothing. tipical**  
**they had fucking make up sex the whole fucking sunday man! i'm so proud of him**  
**so of course he didn't think of sending me a message to lemme know he was alright, had to discover it myself yesterday but that's ok**

Derek took a minute to (read and) answer Stiles's texts.

**Sounds like it's not unusual for your friends to fight. I'm glad they made up, tho.**

**not really, that's kind of their thing  
you know hot n cold? that katy perry song? that one basically sums their relationship**

**Well, you can't say their relationship is boring.**

**oh man, not at all**  
**expecially if you're not IN that relationship**  
**sometimes when i'm not busy being worried about those idiots i just sit down w/ my other friends and watch them fight**  

 **Really?**  
**And they don't get mad at you for doing that?**

 **yeah well, at the beginning they would, expecially Scott**  
**but after a couple of times they didn't even notice we were w/ them**  
**Scott n Alli are so concentrate on being mad at each other they forget do be mad at us**  
**it's hilarious**

**I bet your friend are that kind of couple that shamelessly make out in public on their good days.**

Stiles shoot his replies, pleasantly surprised by Derek's message.

 **YES**  
**how do you know that??**

 **Lucky guess.**  
**I've got a couple of friends, Boyd and Erica, that are alike. They don't fight very often but their dynamics are similar to the ones you describe.**  

**NO WAY  
do they look at each other like they're lovesick lovebirds with heart eye and an excessive use of pet names??**

**Not really. They look like they are a step from jumping each other bones. On daily basis.  
I'm not bothered anymore but it used to be awkward.**

**ohhh man i feel your pain**  
**idk what's better, cheesy or horny couple of friends with exibitionist tendencies**

**Neither.**

Stiles laughed out loud. As much as the boy'd like to think he was being cautious, Stiles could tell he already liked Derek.

**ahahahaha you're so right**

But then Stiles' nosy mind bugged him. _Does Derek have a girlfriend? Is he in a relationship?_ Stiles shook his head. Those question were way too personal for the kind of relationship they had so far and the conversation they were having. It felt too much too soon to ask them, so Stiles changed the subject.

**what about you? how's your day?**

A couple of minutes passed as Stiles spent his time tidy the coffee table and putting the orange juice back in the fridge.

 **It was fine, thanks.**  
**It's been a busy couple of days. I'm moving from a city to my hometown again.**

Then realization struck Stiles like a lightning. And Stiles all but freaked out.

 **where are you writing from??**  
**shit i didn't think about time zones i'm so sorry if i'm keeping you awake**

 **Stiles, calm down.**  
**I told you I would have said it if you were bothering me.**  
**I'm writing from the East Coast.**

 **shit did i wake you up the first time i sent you the sms??**  
**was that why you were in a bad mood?**

**No, I was going home after a shift.  
I wasn't in a bad mood.**

**yes you were**

**No, I wasn't.**

**omg of course you were i could cut your sourness w/ a knife through the phone**

Several minutes passed without any answers from Derek, so Stiles decided to write to him. Not because Stiles was afraid he accidentally did something wrong. No, absolutely no. He was just... ok, he was afraid he had fucked up. **  
**

**you still there?**

Derek replied in a matter of seconds.

**I was busy rolling my eyes at the screen of my mobile phone.**

Stiles groaned, then huffed a laugh.

**omg i can't believe you**

It was Derek's time to change the subject, going back to the previous one.

**Where are you writing from?**

**live from california, born n raised in the west coast**  
**so you're leaving the ec to go to your home place? i bet you pretty busy w/ boxing and shit**  
**can i ask you why you moving?**

Stiles looked at the time. It was getting late, and tomorrow was a school day, so he decided to go get ready to sleep while waiting for his answer. His phone buzzed while he was putting his PJ on.

 **I was born in California too, actually.**  
**Well, to be honest I don't own so many things, so boxing is not a problem. 'Cutting the ties', that is the hardest part.**  
**You can ask, but the answer is complicated, and personal.**

 _Why can't I just shut the fuck up? Why?_ Ok, so Stiles may had accidentally touched a nerve at the end, but he didn't utterly fucked up yet. 

 **oh, so you're coming back to the oc? good for you man!**  
**i'm no expert but i can imagine the situation, i'm sure you're going to resolve you 'ties' w/out problems  
i get it Derek really, it's ok if you don't feel to talk bout it, no worries :)**

After Stiles wrote and sent all the messages, praying all the deities he knew for the best, he left his phone on his nightstand and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and to pee. When he came back, he found three texts from Derek.

 **Hope it will be good.**  
**Thank you for the encouragement, it's going to be needed.**  
**I'm sorry I let you down.**

So, there was two options: one, Derek was having a conversation with someone else and switched conversation without realizing it, or two (which seemed the more reasonable), apparently, Derek was feeling...guilty? About what? Being honest and civil with Stiles when he had being inappropriately curious? About not feeling confortable speaking about something obviously private and intimate to a complete stranger? Really? It didn't make sense. Stiles was outraged, so he voiced (wrote) his thoughts.

 **omg what are you being sorry bout??**  
**i asked you a question, you answered -n i felt like you didn't wanna talk bout it- when you could have just ignored it since it made you feel unconfortable AND it was none of my business you got nothing to apology for ok?? you hear me Derek?**  
**so cheer the fuck up or i'm going to travel all the way throu the freaking usa to kick your sorry ass, capisce??**

Stiles tossed the phone back on his nighstand and slipped under the covers, getting confortable and fluffing up the pillow under his head. He was about to give up and drift into sleep when his phone lighted up and buzzed twice.

**So much for someone who can't get a hint.  
Thank you.**

Stiles couldn't help but smile, smile that quickly turned into a yawn, the tiredness of the day beginning to take over his conscious mind.

 **ohhh stfu**  
**you're welcome sourface**  
**i'm going to try n get some sleep, think you should do the same**  
**speaking in a couple of days?**

The boy didn't have to wait long that Derek's replies came one after the other.

 **I don't like that nickname.**  
**I think I'm going to rest, too.**  
**Actually, I don't know if I'll be free during the next evenings, I'm sorry. I've got a business meeting, a couple of social events and the moving and I don't know when I'm going to be free again.**

Stiles frowned at the screen, upset by the news. He rubbed his eyes, and wrote what he hoped was a logical string of words that made sense if read together.

 **it's ok, i like the name enough for the both of us**  
**no problem, i get it, that's not the best time for you but**  
**tell me what you think bout it: when you have a minute n have nothing to do texts me n ill answer you when im free n vice versa**  
**youd be ok w/ it?**

Luckily for Stiles tired mind, Derek was a terse man.

 **Ok.**  
**You sound tired, go to sleep.**  
**Talk to you soon.**  
**Good night, Stiles.**

 **i'm on my way, byeeee**  
**g night sourface**


	3. Habit made me do it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS FANFIC IS NOT DEAD! (even if I almost am)  
> I'm so sorry about the delay, I'm really sorry. Here, take this longe chap as apology.  
> Please if you've got something to say, comment! (critics are always welcome, as long as you are respectful)  
> Hope you enjoy. :)

The following day passed quitely as Stiles attended all of his courses with Lydia rather than with Scott.  
  
After the second conversation he had with Derek, the thought of making his bestfriend aware of his interaction with the stranger made Stiles convincingly shake his head. The two of them have always been protective with each other, and he knew Scott well enough to know he would totally have disapproved. Actually, he didn't thought about saying it to anyone and to be complitely sincere the thought of revieling this new presence in his live to someone didn't appeal him at all.   
  
The only thing he was sure bout was that his father wasn't going to know about Derek for a very long time, partially due to the fact that it (still) wasn't worth it and because his father was going through some hard times at work and Stiles didn't wanted to bother him with something else to worry about. Not that there was something to worry about yet. But still, Stiles was going to involve his father only if things were going in a very bad way or a very positive one.  
  
Their arrangement was so new and let's be honest, what chances there was that it was going to work? That Derek and Stiles would stay in contact long enough to become _something_  that was worth talk about, like penpals or whatever? Statistics (and common sense) were totally against it.   
  
So yeah, maybe Stiles spent the morning making considerations about the nature and the odds of his _thing_ with Derek (and what it a bit early to even call it a thing?), pondering whether and when it was appropriate to introduce the topic to his friends -in case the above mentionated thing was going to last-, and generally analising every possible case scenario rather than paying attention to the lessons. So what? He was a overthinking kind of guy, nothing new under the sun.

It took Stiles almost two full period to decide that: first, he would keep his big fat mouth shut about Derek for now; two, if something didn't felt ok with Derek, Stiles was going to take proper measures about it and then file the whole experience for future references; three, he was going to reach out to his friends when he felt he knew enough about Derek and felt sure about their relationship (whatever it was going to become, if it was going to become something).  
  
So, the morning wasn't a total waste of time.  
  
It was their last year and Stiles and Lydia (and generally most of their gang) were working their asses off to try and get in a one of they're dreams' college, so having set his mind just right about the Derek topic helped Stiles regain a bit of focus and catch a few important clues about the AP Psychology class.

Before Stiles could start taking notes tho, Lydia, who was sitting beside him, snapped. 

"Stiles, stop thinking. I can hear you and it's distracting," Lydia said in an hushed yet annoyed tone. Stiles looked at her in disbelief.

"How can you even be distracted by my thoughts?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "I can feel the waves of worry mixed stress coming from your brain."

"That's new," he said defensively, deciding to stay vague. Stiles knew Lydia enough to know where she was getting at.

"You've been like this for  _hours_ , Stiles. Stop it."  
  
Stiles raised his hands (and eyebrows) defensively. "O-ok, no probs. I'll just shut."  
  
"No, you don't get to solve it so quickly. I want to know what it's all about."

 _Crap_ , Stiles thought, as his eyes widen comically.

Lydia raised an eyebrow. "Uh-uh. Tell me about that."  
  
Stiles froze. _Spent two fucking period making plans and then she does her mystical shit and out me._  The reason Stiles almost shitted himself on the spot was that, in order to keep on his plans, he had to lie to Lydia. And if there was someone who could call what Stiles says bullshit, it was Lydia. Stiles prided himself to be a terrific liar, but Lydia was his kriptonyte.   
  
In that moment, the bell rang segnaling the end of the period, and Stiles found himself looking at the ceiling and mentally thanking all the gods he could think about. He took advantage of the general loud noises and confusion to get up and start gatering his stuff, rambling about some safe topics and looking everywhere but in Lydia's eyes.

"I-I was thinking about the future... what's gonna happen to us - I mean _all_ of us after we get out of this shit-hole, things like that. So yeah, worry and stress, pretty much."

Stiles could feel Lydia's gaze searching his face, clearly not convinced. But then she sighed, and started gathering her things as well.

"Movie night at mine tonight?"

Stiles couldn't hold back a sigh of relief. "Sounds like a plan."

Lydia gave him a wry smile. "It is. Bring food."

Stiles waited as the girl stood up and shouldered her bag, then they hurried together to their third period. 

~~~

 

Predictably enough, they ended up nestled on Lydia's coach with two homemade bowls of tiramisu (credits to Stiles' mother recipe) watching 'The Notebook' and making snarky and unnecessary comments in between sniffs and laughs.

That was how it was between the two of them now. And it was really good.

Stiles often found himself thinking about the long way Lydia and himself came: they went from awkward nerd with a patetically unrequited crush on the unattainable and fake bitch that Lydia used to be, to equally awkward nerd with a little bit more of self-esteem with a beautiful, brainy and witty friend who was no longer ashamed of her potential.  
  
Every time he looked back at when they had just awkwardly started to hang out together because of Scott and Allison's shiny new relatioship, Stiles couldn't resist the snort of laugher: even after they got to know each other better, it took Stiles almost a year of pining and hitting his head against the metaphorical wall to get that Lydia wasn't interested in him (and was never going to be interest in him) in _that_ way.

And, surprisely enough, Stiles wasn't as wounded by the rejection as he thought he was going to be. Sure, he was disappointed that Lydia wasn't going to be his happily-ever-after like Stiles had dreamed for ages, but the more they spent time together, the more he realized that despite being ridiculously smart and generally awesome and everything he could have wanted and dreamed, they wouldn't work in a romantic way.

They made a really good pair of friends, a great team of minds, they enjoyed spending time together and occasionally have melt down over movies and heated discussions about the most different topics but that was it. Still, it kind of surprised everyone when, after Lydia and Jackson finally and definitively broke up, Stiles tried nothing but to be a good friend to Lydia.  
  
Stiles and Lydia's quite movie night was interrupted during the scene when Allie found out on the newspaper that Noah has completed the house to the specifications she'd made years prior.  
  
In that moment, Lydia said conversationally: "So, since you seem decided to avoid it, I'm going to be the one who address the elephant in the room."  
  
Stiles kept a blank look on his face and turned toward the girl. "I'm quite sure there is no pachyderm in this living room."  
  
Lydia rolled her eyes, still facing the television. "Stop playing dumb with me. You know what I'm talking about."

 _Here we go_ , the boy thought. Stiles braced himself and decided to play dumb untill he could. So he gave an exaggerated sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Lyds, I already told you that I was-"

"You really think I bought that patetic excuse of yours? Really? I taught you better than that."

When Stiles stayed quite, showing no sign of collaboration, Lydia kept talking.  
  
"It was something different then your regular kind of anxiety. Like when you find something new and you needed to analyze it under a microscope untill you crack it and decide what to do about the new infos."

Lydia moved on the sofa so she was facing Stiles, who was still looking at an undefined place somewhere near the TV.

"Remember that time you discovered that Kiwis were fruits but also an animal specie so you spent two hours searching Google and then coming to the conclusion you liked both the birds and the plants?"

Stiles did remember the episode.

He smiled remembering the tiny chubby birds, and Lydia pinched his arm. "Focus."

"Ouch! That was so unnecessary!"

"Nope it was, and now back to my question."

"What question."

Lydia rolled her eyes and pinched him twice.

"Argh, c'mon, that's not funny, stop that!", Stiles said while squirming away from Lydia.

"Tell me what's on your mind and I'll stop."

"Nothing, Lyds, I swear, my mind is all over Ryan Gosling right now."

Lydia sighed and raised her hand mid-air, ready to pinch Stiles's arm.

"So, what _was_ on your mind that took you _hours_ to figure out?"

Stiles sighed.

"God! There no way we can call it a night and forget about it?"

"Nu-hu."

"You're going to pinch me 'till I surrender, aren't ya?"

"Uh-uh."

The boy sighed again and crossed his arms over his chest, sinking further into the couch.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

Lydia narrowed her eye at Stiles, then lowered her hand reaching for the boy's wrist.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah- yes, nothing to worry about," Stiles said, running a hand in his hair.  
  
"Is this about your dad? I know the situation down at the station is kind of chaotic."  
  
Stiles's father, who was the Sheriff of Beacon Hill, and all the police officers were going through a tough period due to a sudden luck of police officers that had the few left doing extra hours and shifts to cover for the needs of the town.  
  
"Yeah, no - I mean, of course I'm worried about him, always am. I've been trying to be as present as possible but it's not being easy. But I'm going to talk to him about the situation in a couple of days, because this shit just can't keep going on. He's not sleeping enough and he went back on his old greasy diet. But, I know my father and I know he's still far from his breaking point. I told you, there's nothing to worry about."

"Ok, I get it about your father's situation and I'm hapy to hear that. But there's another one you _used_ to worry about, so what changed?" Lydia asked, fishing for informations.

The boy cleared his throat.

"Well, I thought about it this morning and I, mh- I came to a few conclusions that calmed me down."

"You're telling me you spent two periods analizing whatever you were antsy about and then coming to the conclusion that there is nothing to worry about?"

Stiles raised his eyebrows, nodding.

"You make it sound like a bad thing but yeah, yes, pretty much."

The girl looked for a long moment at him, pondering the facts. Finally, she sighed and let go of Stiles wrist.

Lydia sagged back into the couch. "Uhm, you probably can handle whatever your issue is, so I guess I'll have to trust you on this one."

"Why, thank you, I'm flattered," Stiles's words dripped sarcasm even if he was smiling.

"You know that if you need someone to talk-"

It was Stiles turn to sigh, a warm look on face. "Yeah Lyds, I know. I'll come to you."

Lydia smiled fondly at the boy, then turned toward the TV, the movie still going on.

"Now that we have at least settled this, we can concentrate on Noah and Allie's love story so we don't miss the juicy parts."

With that, the tension drained completely from Stiles. The boy laughed out loud.

"Juicy? Really?"  
  
Lydia just smirked at him, and after that they both turned their attention back to the movie.

  
~~~

See, Lydia and Stiles's evening parties were an established tradition that required three fundamental elements: a good movie (the genre didn't really matter), comfort food (regardless of the kind of movie), and the cellphones had to be switched off. So, while he was walking on his way back to his house, high on sugar but still sniffing ( _How it's supposed to be a happy ending if they both die in the end, Lydia?!_ ), Stiles reached for his phone to turn it on.

The clock informed Stiles that it was twelve minutes to one a.m. The screen light made Stiles squint his eye as he searched for any missed calls or texts; his dad knew Stiles' whereabouts and the following day was going to be a school day so the boy was going to be home at a fairly reasonable hour - and he  _was_ , at least according to Stiles' opinion.

Finding zero missed calls and just a vague text from Scott, simply stating **let's eat**  that had Stiles roll his eyes because **dude that's a bit generic even for you** , Stiles didn't think twice before opening the tab and write to Derek.

 **ehi Derek**  
**do you think one could understand he's dying if it happen in his sleep?**

Stiles hit the send button and the proceeded to read the texts and realized that well, yeah, what a pretty dark and heavy way to start a chat. While Stiles was worrying himself, trying to find something else to add to lighten the tone, Derek texted back.

**Well, it depends on how you die.**

Oh. Stiles expected at least a question about his text (or his mental state) but ok, he could roll with Derek in this conversation.

**what do you mean?**

**If it's for natural reasons or induced with medicines or drugs**.

**pls do continue**

**In the first case, if it's because of an infarct you are probably going to wake up but you'll usually only have a handful of seconds to realize what's going on beacuse of the severe chest pain. Dying from a respiratory disfuncion takes longer and you might understand what's going on because you'll wake and realize you can't breath, and the feeling can extend for minutes. Cerebral hemorrhage is usually silent and you generally miss it since you can just fall in coma, but in this case you don't always die right away.**  
**As for the second case, cyanide hurts just a little, blurs the senses (thus removing some pain) and then kills. Is also common among suicides the one with the hemlock or the injection of a mix of sleeping pills and poisons. Using only an excessive amount of sleeping pills, you may have a death in your sleep without waking. Carbon monoxide is another option as it's an odorless and painless gas that can cause death in your sleep without you waking up.  
  
** Ok, that was some seriously medical detailed shit (Stiles had seen enough Dr. House to recognise when shit got deep). The boy was a bit taken back by Derek's accurate texts but he was too curious to change subject and let it go.

 **whoa  
wasn't really expecting this**  
**i feel like i just asked dr Oz a question  
just a lil bit creepier**

Derek's answer came in a matter of seconds. _Dude's lit tonight_ , Stiles playfully thought.

**You asked.**

Stiles couldn't help but snort, then proceeded to look around when the noise he made echoed through the empty street and made him jolt. The boy shook his head and whispered to himself:  _get a grip, Stilinski_.

**yeah but i wasn't expecting this seriously technical shit  
that is really cool and possibly useful btw**

**What do you mean ''possibly useful''?**

The thing was, Stiles was just partially joking around with Derek; being the Sheriff's kid, he knew pretty much everything there was to know (not) to break the law and to get away with it. Not that he had any intention of doing such things, but as his mother did used to say, knowledge is power. So, the more you know... but to be completely honest, at the moment Stiles was more interested in seeing where this topic would have take them.

**yeah you know for future reference  
you never know when you'll need to know shit  
  
That's not really an explanation.**

**that's all you're gonna get  
** **  
Are you thinking about committing suicide?**

 _This_ was something Stiles wasn't expecting. He frowned, asking himself where Derek picked that up from their texts.

**hell no dude wtf**

**Don't call me dude.  
If there's something like that on your mind please talk to someone.**

Stiles took the last turn and entered the driveway of his house.

 **i appreciate the interest but the answer is still a big fat no  
** **there's too much food waiting for me to be eaten on this earth**

The boy put the phone in his pocket and fished his keys out. He unlocked and opened the door as quietely as possible as he felt the phone buzzing with another text. Stiles closed the door and retrieved his phone, checking the text.

**You sure?**

A sudden pull in the stomach area made the boy scratch his belly idly. He read the text a couple of times with a small smile turning the corner of his lips up.

**yeppy yep my friend**

Stiles wrote a quick answer and reached for the fridge in the kitchen. He probably had too much tiramisu that night, nothing a couple of sips of Cola couldn't cure.

**Ok, I'm glad.**

At that point, Stiles's smile broke into a broad grin that made him inhlate a few drops of Cola in the process. Stiles tried to cough quietly (and write a text) while not dying from asphyxia. He was getting so good at multitasking he had to stop himself from patting his own shoulder.

**awww i'm growing on you man**

**Shut up.  
Why did you wanted that information anyway?**

**i'll have to kill you too if i tell you**

Stiles put the bottle back in the fridge, left the kitchen, and started climbing the stairs to reach his bedroom. (All of this pretty much without his eyes leaving the screen of his phone.)

**...are you planning on murdering someone?**

**YOU said THAT, not me**

**Well then I believe you put a 'too' where it was not intended.**

_Shiiit he got me_. The boy strategically decided to avoid that last text and went to the bathroom, leaving the phone on his bedside table. When he made it back to his bedroom, a new text from Derek was waiting for him, as expected. **  
** **  
Stiles.**

**yeah, Derek?  
  
You know that killing someone is illegal, right?**

The boy snorted, _You have no idea_ , he thought.   **  
  
oh my friend, i know it veeery well  
**  
After he texted Derek back, Stiles switched to his pj, kicking his clothes by the foot of the bed. While he was putting them on, the phone buzzed again. **  
  
I don't know why but your answer does nothing to convince me about your intentions.  
  
** **lmao trust me i know the laws enough to bypass them  
  
You're doing a really poor job at looking innocent.  
  
are u saying i'm guilty of something?  
  
Are you aware that you're talking about committing fellonies with someone you don't even know? What if I was an FBI undercover agent?**

That made Stiles stop for a minute and actually value the possibility of Derek being some kind of undercover cop or FBI or whatever. The boy held his breath, reanalisying all their previous chats from the newest to the very first one. He exhaled when he realised that no, there was no way it was something like that, and that Derek was actually repaying Stiles for fucking with him with the same coin. **  
  
** **idk man, i think an agent would've something more important than spendin their time w/ an harmless kid whos criminal record is clean like baby skin  
plus i don't think an fbi would've blew his cover so easily  
  
** **Who said it wasn't a tactic move?**

**nah man i'm not buying it  
my lips are locked i'm not gonna say a word from now on  
  
We are actually texting, so you're not 'saying' things per se but writing them, therefore you made no sense.**

Stiles realised that he was still standing in the middle of his bedroom in his pj texting a stranger at ass o'clock in the morning only when he childishly stamped his foot on the ground. He yawned noisily and slipped under the covers of the bed.  
  
**oh stfu  
btw how did you know about that med shit?**

**My brother-in-law is a doctor.  
  
that doesn't explain much per se  
  
Sometimes we share books we found interesting.**

**are you telling me you read medical books as hobby?**

**I like reading books. No matter what kind.  
  
** To say that Stiles didn't make a satisfied and surprised noise would have been a filthy lie. Stiles instantly realised that and blushed.

 **wow ok  
that's actually awesome  
  
Is that a compliment or am I allucinating?  
**  
The boy felt his cheeks heat up even more, so of course he did what he usually do when he's embarassed: he embarass himself even more. **  
  
nope nope nope   
that's def not a compliment  
you got it ALL worng  
...don't get used to that  
****  
So you admit that it was a compliment. Good.  
Thanks, I guess.** **  
  
deeeeereeeeek  
you're exausting  
**

Stiles was lying. Well, partially lying: he did found Derek occasionally exausting but there was something about him and their conversation that entertained and intrigued him so much it was keeping Stiles hooked to the phone. So, basically Stiles was just being petty. **  
  
So you are, but it sounds more like you are exausted. Has it been a long day?**

Now that Derek pointed it out and the boy was slipping under the covers, Stiles realised that he was indeed tired. He took a look at the clock on the far right corner of his phone and, damn, it was thirty-one to one in the morning. A brief thought about how strangly fast the time seemed to pass when he was chatting with Derek crossed his mind, but it left his tired brain so quickly that Stiles almost didn't even register it.  **  
  
you may be right about bein tired and the long day  
but like a happy kind of tired?  
like yeah i had school all day but it wasn't so bad  
and then i had fun w/ my friend watching the notebook  
oh! it came from the movie  
  
What came from the movie?  
  
my question about death  
  
Ah, I see.** **  
  
eh thinkin about it rn it was prob not a great start for a night chat but whatev  
u prob dont even know the notebokk**

Awake!Stiles was probably going to regret it all the next morning, but sleepy!Stiles was a very honest Stiles and awake!Stiles couldn't do a thing about it. **  
  
I don't think it was that bad. I'm not really great with small talk so any topic will do with me as long as we are both confortable with it.  
And for your information, I do know that movie.  
  
** **im not really into smalltalk too but given a chance imma made a novel outta the weather forecast  
noo way i dont beleive u  
  
You do strike me as the type who would do that. It's slightly scary.  
Believe it or not, I even saw that on multiple occasions. But it's a talk for another time.**

Stiles frowned and glared at the screen, Derek threw this kind of bomb and now is trying to run away?  
**  
wait whaat no i wanna knooo  
  
Another time. Tomorrow I've got a day off but for you is a school day. God helps me if you fall asleep in class because of me.  
  
you sound like my dad  
so boring **

 **You're not the first one who tells me something like this.  
Goodnight, Stiles.  
  
** By the time the boy read the texts his brain was foggy and unfocused, more asleep then awake; it was probably a good thing that he was pratically asleep, because the last thing Stiles thought was _'does this mean Derek has a daddy kink?'_. 

  
~~~

  
Friday morning surprised Stiles with a text from Derek that simply stated:

**They threw me a fucking surprise farewell party.**

They boy looked at the words quizzically and all he could menage to elaborate was a loud _uhm_. Thursday had been a radio silence day, and if the boy had been feeling a bit like walking on air all day long, that was only Stiles's business. Now that Derek had sent him a new cryptic text, he felt suddenly much more awake. Stiles checked the time when the message was received: half past four in the morning. _'_ He read the message twice before deciding that his still sleepy brain couldn't find the slightest sense and that he needed a cup of coffee before he could embarass himself misunderstanding the text in any possible way.

 _I guess it won't hurt if I wait a bit before I answer,_  Stiles thought. The boy went downstairs just in time to check on his father who was leaving, make an approximate plan for their lunch, and wish him a good day at work. After that, he had his usual quite morning routine. Surprisingly enough, Stiles was feeling a lot more zen about the Derek situation then he felt the previous days: someone would say he should thank his overthinking brain, someone else the talk with Lydia, another one the good night of sleep he just had. Stiles blantally ignored the cause, wallowing in the refound peace.  
  
It wasn't untill he climbed into his Jeep that Stiles replied to Derek's text.

**who threw you a surprise farewell party?**

They boy slipped the phone into the right pocket of his hoodie, fastened the safety belt, and started he car. He was parking in one of the spots in front of the school when Stiles felt the phone buzzing through the material of the hoodie.

The boy got out of his Jeep and pulled the phone out, looking at the new text while heading toward the building. The first thing Stiles thought about the message was that it was very Derek-like, if anything.

**My colleagues.**

Stiles snorted at the other man's terseness. In the periphery of his vision, he spotted Scott, Allison, and Lydia chatting by Lydia's locker, so he walked toward them.

 **okay  
that sound quite sweet of them so** **why you sound so pissed off?**

He fired his reply, then slipped his phone back into his pocket, just in time to catch the last part of Lydia reply to something Scott just said.

"...not going back to that place."

"What place?", Stiles asked.

Allison turned toward him and gave him a warm smile as salute. " Scott just learned that his favourite lasagna place is going to be shut down for good at the end of the week", she explained, "so he's trying to convince Lydia to go to the Magna Italia one last time", she said, while Scott and Lydia were having a staring contest not even a foot away from Allison and Stiles. "He already did this with the others, Kira and Danny had no chances. Even Malia said yes!"

Stiles whistled, impressed. "What about Jackass?"

Allison laughed quitely. "He decided to live up to his name."

Stiles huffed a laugh. "Obviously."

"You're not making any sense", Lydia was saying, when Allison and Stiles focused back, " you're saying we should _all_ go back to that hellhole just because you want to eat their mediocre lasagna one _more_ time."

"It's not just one more time, it's the _last_ time!", was Scott animated reply, "the place's gonna close forever! That's the last time! We'll never be able to eat there again!"

In between the tirade, Stiles vaguely registered his phone buzzing. He automatically took it and looked at what he was sure were Derek texts.

**I'm not pissed off.  
And that was not sweet.**

Stiles frowned and quickly wrote back to Derek, trying not to be seen by his friends.

 **c'mon dude i think we are past the denial phase**  
**i can tell you're not happy about it**  
**so spit it out** **where they shitty coworkers? they hate you or you hate them or both? was a terrible party? what?**

"Thank God", Lydia was saying meanwhile, rolling her eye. " The place sucks, the food sucks even more. It's beyond my comprehension why you like them so much."

Scott gasped loudly, his eye almost popping out of the sockets. " But...they are closing...for good... ok, listen", Scott took a deep breath, "I'm not asking you to eat the whole menu or to, I don't know, camp inside the place. I know you don't like it much", he continued, earning a raised eyebrow from Lydia, "but it's my favorite italian place, the first place we went out _all_ together, and it's gonna be shut down in a matter of days."

Scott paused, and Allison whispered to Stiles: "Suspence pause, aaand..."

"So, please, Lydia. Please, come with us at the Magna Italia, for one more and last time."

There was a moment of silence, where Scott and Lydia stared at each other. Then, Lydia rolled her eye again and sighed.

"Ugh, fine! Happy now, McCall?"

Scott's victory yelp was swallowed by the ringing of the bell.

Stiles laughed at his friends, then he said back to Allison. "The McCall puppy eyes strike again."

The girl smiled, looking at her boyfriend who was now hopelessly trying to hug Lydia, and just said: "You have no idea."  
  
As Stiles entered the classroom his phone vibrated twice, catching him by surprise. He hadn't thought Derek was going to answer him so soon, since there was the time zone to remember: it was still so early in the morning in the East Coast, Derek could have fallen back asleep or he could have been at work or doing a lot of other things. Luckily for him, the first period was easy enough to follow - nothing he didn't already know- so Stiles was going to be able to keep up with the lesson, read Derek's texts and text him back. Plus, there was no Lydia nor any other of his friends that could get nosy.

**None of that.  
They thought just it was a good idea to throw me a surprise farewell party when they all knew I don't like neither surprise party nor goodbyes.**

Ok, so _that_ explained a lot.

**ah  
so THIS is the real deal**

**Yes.**

Derek was upset (and surely have been even more then upset about it the previous night), and Stiles wasn't sure how the other guy could act when in such emotional state. He didn't knew Derek well enough to tell, of course, but according to Stiles experience (and intuition) he felt like Derek was more a passive aggressive kind of person then a physical aggressive one.

**that sucks  
still, hope you didn't make a fuss about it at the party**

The boy sat straighter on his chair and turned his attention on the lesson, taking notes while waiting for Derek's reply. After a while, a handfull of texts arrived whitin seconds.

 **You can say it.**  
**I won't lie, I was tempted to, but** **I tried to act as happy as I could and not to let them down.**  
**They are good people (most of them, most of the time).**  
**Still, the whole thing didn't sit well with me.**

Stiles was relieved and strangely proud that Derek handled it decently (at least according to what he told the boy) but he was still curious about the other man's motive. He briefly decided to give it a shot and ask Derek, even if the answer could imply something personal.  
  
**okay, that's good, you did good even if you were pissed**  
**can I ask you why? no pressure if is personal  
**

To be honest, Stiles wasn't expecting more then a handful of cryptic and apologetic words as an answer so he was reasonably surprised when Derek's texts came in a matter of seconds and weren't telegraphic.

 **It was principle.**  
**They forced me into something they knew I wouldn't like.**  
**They consciously planned the whole thing knowing that it was going to make me feel unconfortable.**

After reading the messages, Stiles was even more surprise. He understood what Derek was saying, and shared his thoughts about it, so he was quite sure he could help the other guy let off some steam and come at peace with the facts. Stiles looked warily at his classmates and shift his position on the chair, running a hand in his hair.

**well you make it sound like a evil plan  
so you're mad, i get it**

**I was, now I'm just barely crossed.**

Stiles snorted, earning himself at least half dozen scowls from the nearest students.

**that sound fake but okay**

**Are you using memes against me?**

The boy had to bit his lips to hold back a delighted laugh. Derek knew about memes, unbelievable. Stiles composed himself so he could answer in a more appropriate way to the man.

**well i'm quite impressed you even know the existence of memes but i was not trying to go 'against' you, i'm just saying i'm not buying your 'now i'm just barely crossed' bullshit cos it sounds like this shit still really bugs you  
so don't get me wrong i'm not accusing you of anything okay? i'm just trying to understand**

It took a couple of minutes, during which Stiles focused on the lesson, for Derek to reply.

**Ok.**

Stiles sighed. The boy bit his lips in concentration, trying to find the right way to talk to Derek while he was in that state of mind; this was a new side of Derek he had never ever experienced, so the boy wasn't quite sure how to act. After a bit, Stiles decided to use logical and rational reasoning to try and cool down the other guy. He wasn't even sure why he was taking the trouble to go through all of that in the first place (and he had no clue if what he planned was going to work for Derek) but to him it just felt like the right thing to do.  
  
**okay let me see if i got it: the party was thown because you are going to move away, right? cos you're going to leave not only your current house and town but also your job and the people you've been working with**

**I assume.**

**i guess you spent quite some time with them so some of them are probably also your friends who are going to be sad and miss you when you're back to the other side of america**

**Yes. I consider a few of them friends, most of them are just coworkers to me.**

**you had/have a good relationship with those coworkers, like occasional beer together kind of relationship? or more professional?**

**Overall, yes.  
The first just with some of them, the latter with the most.**

**it's safe to say you're gonna miss them?**

**I guess.**

Stiles hummed in concentration, thought briefly about it and then fired back, hoping for the best.  
  
**think about it, you're the one that goes away while they're going to stay there, so you're not the only one who's not gonna be able to see them as usual, they're not gonna see you as well  
so if they care about you (which i'm sure some of them do even with your occasional unpleasantness and generall grumpiness of yours) they would feel sad and would want to spend as much time with you as they can**  
**the party was for you AND for them, maybe considering you were not into the idea it was also a bit selfish of them i'll give you that, idk who they are but i can tell you that they did what they did cos they wanted to have memories with you, wanted to celebrate your effords at work, and to wish you good luck with your new beginning**  
**so for ones since it's gonna be a one-time thing, suck it up n let it slide, don't throw shades at them and enjoy the time you spend together**  
  
Stiles finished his tirade and tossed the phone in his shoulder bag so that he wasn't going to be tempted to send something else to Derek and embarass himself, since he already risked enough with the texts he sent. The boy knew that he tended to talk people's heads off when he was trying to make a point, so to prevent it, he took a deep breath and concentrated on what the teacher was saying. After all, he couldn't spend all his periods talking non-stop with Derek, he had grades to keep up and teachers to bother with inappropriate comments.

  
~~~

The next time Stiles checked his phone was right after he hopped on his Jeep to go get some take-away to eat at the police station with his dad after the school day. He was able to spend almost the entire morning cellphone- free (and Derek-free), and he was kind of proud of himself since he resisted the temptation of answering the texts he knew were waiting for him. He was curious but also afraid of what Derek sent him and if Stiles was a little bit more honest with himself, he would have admitted he didn't wanted his mind to be taken over by an eventual negative answer from the other guy. Before starting the engine of his old Jeep, the boy retrieved the phone and looked for Derek's answer and sure enough, here it was.  
  
**Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to an adult instead of a kid.**  
**I guess I wasn't that unbothered. I get what you said, I'll try to be as easygoing as possibly untill my departure.**  
**I'm sorry if I was rude in my earlier texts.**

Stiles couldn't help but triumphantly smile.  
  
**wow was that a compliment?**  
**yep you do that and if something happen you text me asa ok?**  
**yeah you were but don't worry about it, you're not going to get rid of me so easily ;^)**  
  
The boy tossed the phone in his bag and decided he was feeling like Tai food was a good idea. He drove to the nearest take-away, brought enough food for three, and then headed to the police station. He was going to have a nice lunch with his dad and his phone was going to stay out of the Sheriff's reach. His father wasn't that strict and nosy but he was still a police officer who could sniff a lie from miles, and Stiles wasn't going to risk it even if he could get out of it clean.  
  
Stiles parked the Jeep and then made a beeline through the station to his father's office, saying 'hi' to a couple of cops that looked like they could use a good night of sleep, and dropping a plastic bag on the desk of deputy Parrish, right in front of the officer's nose.   
  
"What's that?", asked the deputy, not even raising his eyes from the paper work he was doing.   
  
Stiles raised and eyebrow and then proceeded to talk as theatrically as he could. "Hi, Parrish. How are you? I'm fine, thank you for asking! How's going, Stiles?"  
  
That got the officer to actually look up, a large set of dark circles around his eyes and a tired look on his face. "Oh god Stiles, I get you point, sorry, just - what's that?"  
  
"You've being doing extra work as dad? What's with all this personnel exploitation?", asked Stiles, narrowing his eyes at the deputy.  
  
Parrish sighed, deep and low, and stretched his arms. "We're still short of officers."  
  
"Man, I thought it was an old story. By the way, here's some Tai food. I own you a lunch."  
  
The deputy looked surprised but quickly reached for the bag. "You own me a lunch?"  
  
"Remember that wonderful Japanese food you left last week in the fridge, which had a label with your name on and you told every officer of the station not to eat it, but when you went to eat it it was gone?", said Stiles while starting to move toward his father's office.  
  
The deputy first looked pensive but in a matter of second Parrish looked Stiles dead in the eye.  
  
"You little piece of shit.", he deadpanned.  
  
Stiles just grinned at the officer, then made his entrance into the Sheriff's office.  
  
"Good afternoon, father o' mine. I bring my regards and Tai food."  
  
His father was doing some paper work like Parrish and was just as quick at leaving it aside. The Sheriff looked even more tired then the other cops at the station, with a few days old beard and his cheek pale even under his tan. He got up and stretched, his joints popping and snapping in the most unhealthy way.  
  
"Son, is good to see you too but you can keep your regards, just give me that food, I'm starving."  
  
"You're tired and hungry yet you almost made a perfect rhyme out of nowhere."  
  
"What can I say, paper work brings out the best part of me."   
  
"I doubt it but, before you start talking about your latest case with me over lunch," and this earned him a scowl from his dad, "let's talk about how much you and the other officers can go on working extra long shift untill y'all collapse?"  
  
The Sherriff sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in his usual way that basically screamed: _please god help me_. Then he grabbed the take-away bag and slowly sat on the armchair, resting bonelessly for a moment before collecting himself and sitting properly. Stiles sat on the sofa right next to the armchair, food left on the other seat on the sofa.  
  
"As much as I'd like to say you're wrong, I'll have to admitt the situation is getting so much out of hand it's not even funny even more."  
  
"It's never been funny, dad. I almost never see you around anymore, you sleep an handful of hours a day, you look like a less bloody version of one of those zombies from The Walking Dead-"  
  
"Ok, son, enough. I get it, ok, I know. It's been a crazy couple of weeks, with Diaz retiring and Chong on maternity leave and then out of nowhere Perri decides to go and get relocated in freaking Alaska."  
  
The Sheriff sighed heavily and ran his hands on his face. Stiles furrowed his eyebrows and watched his father carefully, finding new wrinkles rippling his forehead and more white hair on his temple, probably stress- induced more than due to his age.   
  
"I feel like hell, we all feel like hell."  
  
"That's way this situation can't go on anymore. Parrish didn't even realize I put Tai food on his desk until he fucking open the bag! You can smell that shit from miles!"  
  
"Language, Stiles. But I know what you mean. But things are going to get better, I promise."  
  
Stiles crossed his arms and looked at his father, suspicious. "Is this promise based on actual facts or you're just trying to make me shut?"  
  
The Sheriff huffed a small laugh. "Both, son, both. Next week a couple of new deputies are going to start working here."  
  
"Newbies?", Stiles said in disbelief, "Do they have some sort of experience or they just walked out of the accademy?"  
  
"They both have experience."

"I hope so 'cos otherwise they're just gonna make it worse."  
  
His father looked at Stiles nodding slightly. "Yeah, but I made my homework and I'm quite sure the newbies are actually going to solve our problems."  
  
"So you can go back on you usual amount of work and usual healthy diet you've been skipping because of your fucked up shifts."

"Son, really-", the Sheriff tried to say aroung a groan.  
  
"Yes, father. I'm going to go back to my old job of pain in the a-"  
  
"Enough! We'll talk about _that_   in due time. Let's eat now, the food is starting to get cold."  
  
Father and son both reached for the forgotten bags of food, but before the Sheriff could get a taste of his lunch, Stiles said:  
  
"I'll make sure we'll have that talk. Now, what about you start spilling about the serie of robberies that are going on lately in dear ol' Beacon Hills?"

 His father sight was so loud it made the entire office laught.

~~~  
  
The very same night, Stiles and his friend went out for their last dinner at the "Magna Italia pizzeria and restaurant". Scott had tears in his eyes the whole time while Allison tried to be supporting, Danny drunk most of the wine to try to cheer himself up because Scott was affecting him with his moping, Malia ate the food Kira and Lydia left on their plates and Lydia spent the night bitchying about hygiene standards and food poisoning.  
  
That very same night, Stiles was about to fall asleep when an incoming text lighten up his cellphone on his bedside table.  
  
**Thank you.**  
  
~~~

Saturday morning saw Stiles wake up way earlier then he would have liked. The boy blinked lazely and stretched under the covers, satisfied after a good night of sleep. Then proceed to roll on his side to check the time. Stiles froze for a moment, the bold numbers of the clock flashing '7:58 a.m.' aggresively in the dim light of the morning. Since he had no interest in getting up from his bed till there was a glowing '11' on his bedside clock, Stiles rolled again and laid supine on the bed, feeling far too much awake for his own liking.  
  
Predictably, after nearly half an hour Stiles started getting bored of just lying in bed, not able to fall back asleep nor willing enough to get up from under his covers. So he tried his best to entertain himself while there (nope, he wasn't going to entertain himself in the _dirty_ way, there where no tissue left on his bedside table which meant no fun time for Stiles). After a while and a serie of poor excuses of ideas, an at least tolerable one started to form in the boy's mind.  
  
And what if Stiles's first instinct was to grab his phone from were it'd been left the previous night (in his jeans, on the floor near the foot of the bed) and write to Derek? To be honest, Stiles didn't even guess it for a second. As soon as the idea (probably a stupid, shitty one -even for the boy's standards) flashed clearly in his mind, he went for it without esitation.

 **oi Derek! sorry to bother you. i'm starting a lil project and i think you're the perfect tester**  
  
Unsurprisingly, Derek answered in a matter of seconds. 

 **Hi Stiles.  
Don't worry I was just going out for a run.  
****Is it something illegal?**  
  
Stiles snorted. Of course Derek would go out running even on Sunday morning. 

 **you're such a freak**  
  
It took Stiles just a moment to realise he picked on only the first part of the message. He froned at the screen and tapped his answer.  
  
**why would you think that??**

**I'm not a freak.  
I'm asking because it's you.**

Stiles smirked.

 **...that sounds reasonable**  
**btw, it's totally legal and pro- life too**  
**more pro- Stiles personal life tbh**

**What is it?**

**i can't fall asleep again and i'm bored and it's been a while since the last time i got laid so i decided to do a pick up line list**

The boy waited patiently for the other's answer, unleashing a serie of wide yawns.

**Do you really want to get laid or you're just plain bored?**

At that, Stiles huffed a quiet laugh.

**more bored than horny but i thought it could be fun and why not, two birds with one stone  
(pun intended)**

Again, Stiles waited a couple of minutes for the answer to arrive.

 **You have the sense of humor of a 5 year old.**  
**Anyway I've got nothing to do other than running at the moment so I guess we can give it a shot.**

** YESSSS i knew i could count on you **

** I'm already regretting it. **

But then the boy realise that a detail wasn't matching. His suspiciousness rised back from the back of Stiles's mind, so he gave voice to his thoughts.

** wait, if you're running how can you type? like, isn't it going to slow you down or make you fall?  
  
Nope I'm using the speech-to-text mode.  
It has no grammar and I have to talk aloud but at least it does its job.**  
  
Stiles looked at the screen, impressed by the other man.  
  
**and you can talk while running and the programme still recognise your voice**  
**like, you don't even hunf or pants or shit like that in between words?  
  
Well it used to be difficult but now that I'm used to it it's almost effordless.**

Stiles eye widen comically, his eyebrows rising near his hairline. **  
  
shiiit man, your one of those fitness obsessed aren't ya!!  
  
Not really.  
I workout regularly nowadays I do it more out of habit than to keep healthy.  
  
** At that, Stiles snorted. "Health freak", he whispered to himself.  **  
****  
wtf man are you some Steve Rogers wannabe?  
  
Not really I just always been involved in some kind of sport while growing up now it's like second nature.  
**  
**oh god i bet you where a joke back in highschool**  
  
**You would be surprise how less of a joke I was.**  
  
**that's totally what a former joke would say**

**Fuck you.**

Stiles looked at the text in confusion. He had no clue why Derek snapped at him so suddenly; they were just teasing each other, like they've been doing other times during their chats. But Stiles is an highschooler, and knows how teenagers can be, so the boy figured he must have touch a sore spot of Derek's life.  
  
**sorry, i didn't wanted to upset you  
  
** Unlike the previous messages, Stiles had to wait a full minute for an answer.  
  
**It's ok.**  
**Enough of talking about me. Didn't you have a charity project with you as subject to discuss?**  
  
Stiles found himself relising a breath he didn't realise he was holding. He always teased Derek about getting attached to him, but in that moment Stiles understood the feeling was mutual.  
  
**shut up sourface**  
**ok since you asked so nicely let's get down to business**  
**imma start with a classic pick up line**  
**wanna know why they call me coffee?**

 **Nope.**  

**ohhh c'mon humor me!**

**Fine.  
Why?**

**coz i grind so fine ;)**

Several minutes passed without an answer, and Stiles had just tossed the phone on the covers to change position when it buzzed once. 

 **That was even worse than what I was expecting.**  
  
The boy frowned at the screen. He thougt that pick up line did its job and totally loved that (he'd never used it but he loved coffee so of course he loved the pick up line). He voiced his thoughts and briefly came back with a different version of the same pick up line.  
  
**i don't think so, it was quite good!**  
**wait, this one is better: wanna know why they call me coffee?**  
  
**Oh God I'm afraid of what you're going to say.**  
  
Stiles wrote and sent the text, smirking, then he waited.

 **cos I keep you up all night ;)))**  
  
Again, Stiles had to wait for an answer.

 **This one is truly awful.**  
  
The boy rolled on his belly in annoyance. Even if he himself started the whole conversation just for fun, he still felt compelled to defend himself (and his puns).

 **cmooooooon you can't be serious**  
  
**No one would buy one of those lines the 80's are long gone.  
**

**maaan  
**

**Was that your best pick up line or you're just desperate?**

**that hurt!!**  
  
**If I were you I'll just shut down the pick up line project.**  
**They generally sound fake and unnatural.  
I don't think they would work anymore nowadays.**  
**Plus I've got a feeling that yours are peculiarly terrible.**  
  
**ehiii!!!!**

**The truth is cruel.**

**so you are :'''(  
**

**Nothing you didn't already knew.**  
  
The frown on Stiles's face disappered in a moment and was replaced by a small smile. He had the feeling he was looking like one of those stereotypical teenage girl texting in on their bed in cheesy romcoms. Stiles shook his head and focus back on his phone.

 **true lol**  
**but you're probably right...** **pick up lines only works if they come naturally, not if they are staged or smth**  
**like, what if i'm saying one and i forget how it ends and i start blabbing nonsense**  
  
**We can't have that can we?**  
  
Stiles narrowed his eye to the screen. There was some sarcasm in that text, for sure. The boy was a master in reading between the lines, and if there was someone who could detect cripted sarcarm, it was Stiles. 

**nope  
why am i detecting sarcasm in your last text?**

**I think you're reading too much into it.**  
  
**oh no sourface, you don't get away from it so easily**  
**you think you can use pick up lines? you smooth enough for that?**  
  
Another pause. A longer one.  
  
**I'm not saying that.**  
  
The pause that advanced Derek's last text told Stiles otherwise, and the boy, with a smug smile on his face, made sure the other man knew he didn't fed him up.

 **you TOTALLY are**  
**so let's see what you can do**  
  
**I'm not going to write you a pick up line.**  
  
**yes you are, i'm gonna be merciful and let you use mine so your repertoire is safe from my deadly judgement**  
**why do they call you coffee?**  
  
**God I refuse to do this.**  
  
**you don't get to summon god**  
**that's a extra help so it's not fair**  
**c'mon, lemme see what you've got  
  
** Another pause.  
  
**Fine.**  
  
**so, why do they call ya coffee?**

 **Because I'm really bitter and most people don't like me without changing some aspects of what I am.  
  
** Stiles stared blanckly at the text.  
  
**ok, that's just plain sad**  
  
**But it's true.  
Very few people likes black coffee with no sugar.  
  
** Stiles briefly thought about it and he had to admit that Derek might be right. The boy nodded to himslef while writing back to the other man.  
  
**you may have a point**  
**i can only drink it when i'm pre exam and need extra energy but i'm not so into it 'cos its bitter as hell**  
  
**See?  
I usually drink it like that, that way it really does its job.  
  
** This time Stiles let out a noisy laugh; Derek surely was one of his kind.  
  
**now that you say that i can almost see you drinking hot black coffee straight out of the pot at ass o'clock in the morning**  
**i'm more of a cappuccino kind of guy tbh**  
  
**I'm not an animal I use utensil.**

**you didn't denied the rest tho**

**No sense in denying the truth.**  
**However when you need to drink it black but don't want it to taste that bitter, put some butter in it.**  
**It's healthier than white sugar gives you more energy doesn't bother your cholesterol rate and is useful to keep fit and lose weight.**  
**Plus it taste just as good or even better (depending on your tastes).  
**  
Yet again, Stiles was surprised by the stranger. "Is this man even real?", Stiles muttered to himself in surprise.

**wow you really sound like a health freak  
did you read that in one of that meds book?**

**I'm not a health freak.**

**now that you say so it actually makes sense, you DO strike me as the health freak, morning run, black coffee kinda of guy**  
**btw it sounds quite good so i'm gonna try it with my dad, see if i can make him switch from his usual concentrate of triglycerides and polysaccharides to something that won't cause him infarct before hitting his fifties  
  
** Stiles patiently waited for Derek asnwer, and he didn't have to way long before the text.

 **How was the health freak?**  
  
**oi don't hold it against me i just try to be a good son**  
**i've got a fast metabolism and i'm young, my dad can't say as much  
  
Jokes aside I don't know your father but if he drinks a lot of sugary coffee I think this recipe is going to help.  
  
yeah he does, he practically pour coffee in a cup of sugar  
and since he works in a police station, he never runs out of donuts  
he's such a pain**  
**so yeah thanks for that  
  
** The boy had to wait a couple of minutes, which he spent shifting side of the mattress and flipping his pillow.

 **Your father is a police officer?  
  
**_Ops_. He didn't mean to let the information slip so early in they 'relationship'. But at least he hadn't told Derek that his father was the Sheriff, which it made a difference, a little detail that was actually a big one, at least for someone who's familiar with the police ierarchy. So, after a moment of utter terror, Stiles took a deep breath and decided to go for humor.  
  
**yep**  
**you could have guess by the coffee and donut text**  
  
**That's kind of stereotyped.**  
  
**that doesn't mean it's less accurate**  
  
**Fair enough.**  
**I just got back home. I'm going to take a shower and then I'll have breakfast with my sister, so I don't know when I'll be able to answer your texts.**  
  
Stiles was taken aback; he looked at the clock and sure enough, the bold numers told him that it was a quarter past ten in the morning, which meant that on Derek's clock it was a quarter past seven. The boy giggled to himself, shifting his position and sitting on the bed.  
  
**does your sister wakes up at ass o'clock too**  
**i guess it's a family thing lol**  
  
**Well, more a 'one side of the family' thing, actually.  
  
** As much as Stiles would have liked to snoop around, he knew that Derek had other business to attend, so he figured it was ''a talk for another time'', as Derek had said the other day. **  
  
i'll let you shower in peace  
have a nice day Derek  
and say hi to your sister for me ;^)  
  
Bye Stiles.  
Not gonna happen.**


End file.
